Almost every individual on this breathing planet is seeking ‘Love’- in some form or the other. This has been intrinsically the most fundamental construct of a living heart, a conscious heart.
Love~ Some find it; some never do, some keep chasing it, some invalidate it, ridicule it, some merely reject it, some deny it!
And Some, they courageously live with it, all-through- by acknowledging, learning and evolving with each other’s construct.
~Love
One may deftly say, without getting into the nuance of it; That Love, primarily is one of the most transcending and powerful human emotion!
Transcending and powerful? Some would say how come?!
We will get there, but let’s first discuss this;
Do you really believe there are some hallmarks of a true love, true relationship?!
And if there are, the more relevant question is;
Are hallmarks some sort of magic wand!?
Well, if only, life and relationship were an outcome of a successful laboratory experiment, we would had some optimal formulae, some optimal ingredients for it.
But this is obviously not the case!
Life and a relationship is not an outcome of some controlled experiments. If it were, we would have never cared to acknowledge epitomes of true relationships and true love because then everyone would have been in one already- crafted and tailored for them!
The truth is, yes, hallmarks are there! We have hallmarks for life’s all walks, including a true and organic relationship. But to inculcate and consciously practice these, ‘one’ has to be present in it- with mind, body and senses! And in true relationships, not just one, but it essentially requires two to tango!
There is precisely this one thing that makes a true relationship work- That one thing being One’s sincere intent and act of mindful presence in it and being there for each other, even in the slightest possible manner. Some positive intent, some positive energy has to be there! And may be, may be this is the only hallmark that is there, that actually and effectively works before everything else. ~Think about it!
When two individuals are mindfully present for each other, there are certain organic stimulations ‘responsible’ individuals in love and relationship exude between each other.
Of course, this necessarily doesn’t hold true for every human in a relationship, but in any organic relationship, the individuals are mostly and instinctively guided by their emotions, especially when it is an emotional burst of fear or anger. But, as soon as an individual’s quotient of Love and “understanding” of a true relationship kicks in, that individual transcends into a horizon of compassion and benevolence~ manifesting Love being one of the most transcending and powerful human emotion! (Correct me if i am wrong.)
Usually, i kind of find it selfish and practically boring to define Love to someone in general, even though my limbic system (the part of brain where we process our emotional and behavioral responses) gets activated just with the word ‘Love’, which is of course, is quite on display as you are already witnessing it right now.
But, Why i refrain though? For two very basic reasons.
First, You, me and people in general experience, respond and feel about love differently. (Don’t We?!)
Second, Love tends to change over time. Let’s not discuss the contextual and the quantum of the change. It’s vast and requires elaborate and separate addressal.
But, But, But…, Let’s battle this crazy big thing called Love and try to define the very basic of it anyway. Okay?
Love is Beautiful. Love is Magical.
Love is a Euphoria. Love is the essence of being hopelessly hopeful!
Love is not an instant pleasure! Not an impermanent one either.
Love is a journey of life, journey of feelings.
Love is a journey of collective human emotions and spirit.
And in the organic framework of life’s complex maze, Love for two individuals in love with each other, is essentially a state of ecstasy.
But at times, this same love brings a state of deepest dejection as well.
You must be thinking i am such an anti-love soul to say so! Are you thinking so??
Well, i am certainly not. I root and hoot for Love. All the time!
Okay, let’s get back to the topic!
You might be wondering, a dejection? For whom? And How it can be a dejection?!
Well, for at least one of the individual in a relationship or may be for both the sweethearts at a given time.
Okay, one serious question;
Have you ever contemplated how much you love your Sweetheart?
Your significant other?
May be the more effective and universal question should be;
Do we actually love our significant other the way we love ourselves? Or anywhere around it?!
The thing is, most of the time we believe we are in love, is not because we unconditionally love “someone”. It’s because we inherently love ourselves more. We believe more in the idea, the notion of being in love and how this idea, how this notion floats us in ecstasy of our life!
It’s usually and mostly about ourselves.
It’s about how it excites us, how it drives us.
It’s about how it makes us happy, how it puts us in a state of euphoria.
Sometimes it’s all about how it triggers us with some set of negative emotions and how we personally feel about it and respond around it.
And in those moments, we are naturally more considering and fixated on ourselves.
The feelings and emotional longings of our own partner takes a backstage- at least at that moment of our mental space!
For us the feeling of being in love is mostly proportional to how it makes ‘us’ or our individual self feel at certain given time, or let’s say all the time, to put it in a perspective!
The tricky part here is, most of the time we are convinced internally, that all these set of our nuclear behavior is distinctively about and due to the exact same person we are in love with!
Is it so?!
No. This is not the reality. When you intrinsically think about it on a personal level, it is more about our own self.
It’s all driven by our innate instinct of- How someone else makes us feel! But seldom about how we make that ‘someone’ and that ‘significant’ person feel and believe in their being and their life in general- Through our actions, our words and behavioral attitude! (Do you understand what it means? )
And there, there we enormously fail to play the loving and supportive partner. There we eventually and effortlessly add burden to our love!
The question arises, How do we burden Love?! How do you think You and I burden the Love?
By, “Virtually yet effectively burdening it with too much one sided expectations, responsibilities, And absence of emotional reciprocations at crucial junctures”!
And steadily by the ways we say things, we do things, the ways we behave, the ways we react or simply don’t react, the ways we communicate or simply don’t, et cetera!
Practically, everything that is devoid of our conscious connection with our partner adds up inadvertently in the functioning of our relationships, resulting in the dejection and emotional burden added to respective partners.
So how do we not burden our love?
I believe, by simply trying to understand and inculcate the basic tenets of nurturing a relationship. By doing and extending very simple things for our partner, you and i would want for ourselves in a relationship.
See, In reality, with all those great avenues of feelings and delight that we experience through the presence of someone special in our life , True Love essentially requires work and a combination of extended reflection and reciprocations- from both the ends. It’s not some formulae but actually the way of raising a relationship.
It’s about having the consciousness of establishing something more meaningful and fulfilling for the respective partner, and not just accepting the ‘status quo’ of a toneless relationship.
It’s about discovering and having an understanding of what active and objective wellbeing means for our respective partner and at the same time, engaging in the details of promoting well being for him/her, without being conflicted between the priorities and myriad obligations of our own individual life and it’s well being.
Well, this all sounds like too much work! But that’s the intricacy and beauty of true relationships. It needs what it needs!
And, if we think about it on broader horizon, this is the kind of benevolence true lovers, true partners need, and should extend to each other in their day to day lives and thus allow nurturing a ground for both to grow and thrive and be there for each other, in love and in time!
I am not an expert on Love things, in fact i think i have dealt with this very vast yet sensitive topic in a very superficial way, or may be, in a way, i was able to put the heart of it, i am not sure.
But yeah, certainly one thing is sure, this is how in time, space and among people, i have started to learn and absorb everything about love and true relationships in general. And there’s no time or age limit to learn and rectify our ways of handling relationships even if it calls for some meaningful changes in our own being.
So, Yeah, Do Not Burden Your Love.
Do Not Burden The Love.
Just Be In Love. Be There For Each Other.
Just Be There! In Love. In Ways And In Time.
Now, when i am about to end this piece of my thoughts, i have a more pertinent question on my mind, the question being,-
Why do we tend to burden the Love?!
May be due to lack of organic communication between the two sweethearts?! Communication of all sorts? Not engaging in the extended reflection and reciprocation part of being in a relationship??
What do you say? What do You think??
Well, whatever it is, a true organic relationship always requires a serious work from each of us who claim and feel to be in love and inherently want to be in love and loved!
So, Please Work it. Please Work it out! ~A home without Love is an empty home!
Hope You have engaging conversations with yourself and the one you Love.
Cheers!! 🙂
#Stay Spirited. #Always.
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